


I'll wait for you

by shieraseastar03



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Happy Ending, Healing, Pregnancy, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 21:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieraseastar03/pseuds/shieraseastar03





	I'll wait for you

It wasn’t intentional. She didn’t mean to get pregnant, yet here she was, Yrene smiling at her and her hands clutched to her stomach. She wasn’t even here for any tests. She was here for lunch with a pretty mortal girl. She walked home slowly. She disregarded calls of her name. She didn’t stop until she was knocking on Gavriel’s office door. She hadn’t even told him she was going to be in Terrasen. When he opened the door, he looked angry and tired. Upon seeing her, his face changed to a gentle smile and a lightness that only comes from a happy surprise.

 

Asterin, always the poised one, blurted it out without even thinking.

 

The humans Gavriel had been conferring with walked out meek and red faced.

 

Gavriel looked like a blubbering fish. He pulled her into the room, shutting the door behind them, muttering what are the chances. He turned to her. “Do you want this, Asterin?". Her heart ached as she answered, “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

The first thing to organize was where they’ll live. Asterin lived between Adarlan and the Wastes, and Gavriel had taken residence as one of Aelin’s generals in Terrasen. They were also not officially a couple, not like Dorian and Manon who had publicly professed their love for one another, more of a casual but consistent flirtation. When it came to her pregnancy though, and where she’ll stay for its duration, there was no other option in her mind than with Manon and the Thirteen. She needed to be surrounded by witches while waiting for her witchling to come, and especially Manon, the leader of her coven. She told Gavriel this, and also told him there is no room for debate on the topic. He agreed, and escorted her all the way to Adarlan (or more accurately, held on for dear life while they flew there on her wyvern).

 

Her pregnancy was not a hard one. It was easier than her first, not as much sickness, not as much drowsiness, and it scared her. She did the hard yards the first time, and her witchling was still stillborn. She voiced her concern to Gavriel. She had told him vague details about the scar marring her stomach, but never went into the true depth of the story. She did in her second trimester, when he found her in her chamber shaking and crying while looking at her scars. Her bloating belly had started to distort them, the purple lines like a marker through them, and she was worried it was a bad omen. He kissed away her fears and held her for hours, telling her the story of his love story with Adion's mother to distract her. And when she was calm enough, he summoned the people who could truly set her at peace, her coven. Manon, not nearly as fearsome when cuddling her second, cooed over Asterin lovingly with the Shadows and Sorrel. Gavriel let them be, kissing her goodbye.

 

It was hard for Gavriel, extremely so, having his pregnant… lover? Partner? Neither word seemed right… so far away from him. And although he was a dutiful male who loved working and living under Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, he couldn’t be away from his child. With a bag only packed with the essentials, he walked into the office of Aelin and Rowan and resigned from his position. He never looked back.

 

When he presented himself at the palace doors in Adarlan the servants let him in. He hadn’t told Asterin what he was going to do, and he hoped she didn’t think he was being an overbearing, territorial fae male. Her rooms were temporarily next to the King and Manon’s, so when he ran into the Crochan queen and she scented his nerves, she put a watch of witches outside Asterin’s door. “It is of no offense to you, Gavriel. But Asterin and her Witchling will always be my first priority, and I know how volatile fae tempers are.” He did take offense – he would never– but he knew it was coming from a place of love, so he let it go.

 

When Asterin heard he planned to stay, she smiled while biting her lip, and then invited him straight into her bed, where he stayed with her unless it was to get food or dote on her every need.

 

It was a week before she was due that she confronted him on something. “What are we, Gavriel? I can’t bring our witchling into the world when it’s so uncertain.” They were walking through the markets, something Yrene had encouraged but somewhat went against the witch tradition of staying confined and protected during a pregnancy, trying to get some air. They were also buying things (Gavriel may have gone overboard on clothing and toys but he didn’t care, this was his child after all) and the question stopped Gavriel dead in his tracks. It was something he had been wondering but hadn’t had enough strength to ask. Because fuck he was scared. He was scared that his baby would be born and whisked away from him to be with the witches, and Asterin wasn’t his wife, her loyalty wasn’t necessarily first and foremost to him.

 

He told Asterin the few things he knew for sure. He knew he wanted to be with her and the baby and raise it to be strong and fierce. He knew he wanted to stay in Adarlan with her and the child. He knew one other thing. Gavriel clasped their hands together and knelt at her feet, resting his forehead on her belly. “I love you, Asterin Blackbeak". And then there was the thing he was the most unsure of. “Do you love me?”.

 

Her breathing was shaky. She slowly removed her hands from his. When he looked up, her eyes were wide, and she was shaking her head no.

 

She left him on the ground and returned home.

 

He didn’t move for hours.

 

* * *

 

 

Asterin went straight to Manon, interrupting something important but she didn’t know what. She was hyperventilating. She was quaking. She could barely speak when Manon rushed her away and demanded to know what was wrong.

 

Asterin had made a grave mistake. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Gavriel, for crying out loud the fae male had wormed his way into every crevice of her body. All she thought about was him, all she wanted was him and their witchling, and he made her forget everything.

 

Including her first baby. Including her hunter and her cabin.

 

She wasn’t ready to forget. She wasn’t ready for this new life that had been thrust upon her. She didn’t know how to be a mother. She didn’t know how to be a wife or anything like it.

 

She told Manon this, and her friend held her and comforted her.

 

* * *

 

 

It was nightfall when Gavriel returned to the castle. He was quiet when he entered the room. He knew Asterin was still awake, and he cowered before her. “Would you like me to leave?”. “No” she whimpered.

 

He saw her pain, and its twin was mirrored in him. He climbed into the bed next to her, not quite touching.

 

“It’s okay that you don’t love me. I never expected you to. I will stay here in the castle and we will raise this baby together. You deserve a great love, Asterin Blackbeak, and when you find the person that makes your heart sing I will support you, and I will love you and be at your side only as a friend". His words made her cry harder. She lightly slapped at his chest, and turned until she was nestled into his side.  Her belly made it hard, but he knew just how to adjust her to make her comfortable.

 

“I’ve already had a great love of my life” she told him. “And you make me forget the pain of losing him and our baby. You make me feel things I haven’t before, and it terrifies me. I didn’t shake my head no because I don’t love you, I did so because I’m not ready to face the feelings I have for you. I thought I was, and I’m not. I’m sorry".

 

He kissed her cheek. “I’ll wait for you, Asterin".

 

And that he did.

 

* * *

 

 

Their witchling was born two weeks later as the sun broke over the earth and the stars winked away. She was alive, and so beautiful, and had Gavriel gorgeous golden skin and Asterin’s eyes. She was born a child of the Wastes, but Gavriel also trained her in the way of the fae.

 

He stayed with Asterin, they shared a chamber, but it was not until their witchling’s first birthday that Asterin confessed her love for him. He was singing to their witchling and dancing with her on his hip, cake in his other hand. He would eat a bite, she would growl, and then yank some from his hands. It was sweet and beautiful and Asterin wasn’t thinking when she walked up and kissed him, whispering her eternal love for him against his cake-smeared lips.


End file.
